Still lost after 6 years

I endured a sixth year anniversary of Coreys passing on monday, when will I find my true calling. I still feel so lost, I wish I could get out of this rut, well maybe one day.

I hate calling it an anniversary I need a different word for it : yearly solemnization maybe? maybe to obscure, oh well

I got my test results back from the 9 news health fair, looks like I will live a few more days, although I have been sick for a couple days and finally crawled out of bed after 36 hrs asleep
I did finally catch it from mom , just like I was afraid I would. Caught the last one from her too I need to get to work just to stay away from people and their illness's. That could also be depression speaking !!!!

So its after 1 am in the morning and I am sitting here in johnsons corner truck stop , I totally piged out on a chicken fried steak and hashbrowns and a pancake , I didn't eat it all, but alot of it . I lost ten pounds in the last two weeks. I need to lose more, alot more....